Become Unforgettable in With These 5

As a leadership development professional, I've discovered a few "laws of physics" when it comes to making memorable connections quickly. These laws are as steadfast as gravity and just as invisible until you start to see their effects in action.

Let's dive in, shall we?

1. The Law of STOP TRYING

Be genuine is so over used. Be real is also overused. Just stop trying. It sounds cliché, but it's surprising how many people don a mask when they meet someone new. Research shows that positive connections often arise from small, familiar gestures, sensations, or words that become linked to patterns of positive connection in our feelings and thoughts about ourselves, others, or life in general​¹​. When we stop trying, we're more likely to create these meaningful, positive connections. 

2. The Law of Vacuum Chamber

Pay attention to the small things. I imagine when I am meeting someone new that I am in a vacuum chamber with them and the door closes sucking out all distractions. I can actually hear the door close and silence surround me. This doesn't mean you need to develop Sherlock Holmes-level observation skills (though, that would be cool) or ignore clues and senses from around you. Simply being present and actively engaging in the moment can create stronger connections​²​. So, next time you're talking with someone, try to remember their favorite movie or a story they shared. Little things like these can make a big impact.

3. The Law of Just Enjoy It

Remember that old adage, "Slow and steady wins the race?" Well, it applies to relationship building too. Consistently nurturing positive connections, no matter how small they may seem, can strengthen your relationships and make them more resilient​³​​⁴​. Just enjoy people. You know what they say: Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither are relationships. Unless you're Julius Caesar, then you might have a shot.

4. The Law of Positivity (or Not)

Who doesn't like to be around people who exude positive energy or even those that can acknowledge that all is not alright? Positivity attracts and so does those who can speak of realness of how they feel. It's like being a human magnet, but instead of attracting metal, you're attracting good vibes and people. Research shows that people who feel more connected to others have lower levels of anxiety and depression, higher self-esteem, greater empathy for others, and are more trusting and cooperative​⁵​. Positivity, it seems and the realness of a person, is not just a state of mind but also a bridge to stronger connections.

5. The Law of Empathy

Yes empathy. We have all heard it. Put yourself in their shoes, we are told. Understanding and sharing the feelings of others is a powerful way to connect. However, empathy can often be, ONE UPPING someone. Do not let that happen. When we empathize, we show others that we understand them, and that builds trust, a fundamental aspect of any relationship.

Now, why are these laws important? Statistics show that lack of social connection is a greater detriment to health than obesity, smoking, and high blood pressure​⁶​. Strong social connection, on the other hand, leads to a 50% increased chance of longevity and helps you recover from diseases faster​⁷​. Unfortunately, social connectedness is on the decline, with over 25% of Americans saying they have no one to confide in​⁸​. To the point where the only connection that is happening is in the workplace and that is in crisis.

So, next time you're meeting someone new, remember these laws. If you cannot remember all of them, just remember Number 3. Just Enjoy It. People are a gift. Even the "Karens" of the world in their own way. Not only will they help you forge stronger connections, but they could also make a positive impact on your health and well-being. After all, as they say, "It's not what you know, it's who you know." But, in our case, it's also about "how" you know them.

Be you, be there, be consistent, be positive (real), and be empathetic. And remember, don't try to be a super-connector overnight. It's a journey, not a sprint. Connections are like collecting art, look at of it, but only invest in those that move you. Well, you get the point.

Resources

1. Psychology Today. The Power of Small, Positive Connections​¹​​²​​³​​⁴​​⁵​​⁶​.
2. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Loneliness and Health​⁷​​⁸​.
3. Stanford Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education. The Importance of Connection​⁹​​¹⁰​​¹¹​​¹²​​¹³​.